No doubt you have read the letter below. And if you have not, well, now is the time. Simply put, this letter from a college coach to a prospective recruit highlights the worst characteristics of high school athletes with the most potential.
As humans, we are a competitive species. From the time we walk, we challenge one another even in the most basic ways. (Think about the game of "Tag!") Unfortunately, that means we also have the tendency to be competitive in the negative, just as we are in the positive. So when we ask our leaders (each of our student-athletes is a leader) to engage with the content in this letter, let's put a positive spin on these otherwise negative concepts.
Teaching Character Team-building Activity
Step 1: Divide your team into 8 small groups. Have student-athletes work in groups to read and annotate the letter below, asking them to change each of the negative characteristics to positive.
Step 2: Assign one debriefing prompt to each group. Have each group share out. For each prompt, have groups (1) identify at least two parts of the letter that relate to their topic, and describe why, and (2) identify three teammates who they feel best exemplify the positive character trait, and describe why.
Debriefing prompts:
 |
| Steve Nash, 2x NBA MVP |
a. Attention to Detail
b. Maturity
c. Communication
(Verbal and Non-Verbal)
d. Media/ Cell Phones
e. Consistency/ Positive Energy
f. Team Rituals/ Culture
g. Celebrating Team
h. Personal Accountability/
Mistakes are OK
Dear Prospective Student-Athlete,
I received your introductory two-line email and read through
it. I must say your first sentence was painfully familiar as you introduced
yourself by first name only. I assumed if you were trying to make an impression
that you would have paid more attention to punctuation but my assumption
appears incorrect. While your opening email failed to identify your last name,
what year in school you are, where you are from, or what position you play, you
managed to include your most pressing question as to whether our team is
"giving out scholarships".
A week later, I received a second email with full color
resume attachment including your action photos, and a variety of links to
related newspaper articles. Each of these items were compiled in an orderly
fashion and sent out directly from both your parents' emails.
While it took a bit to thumb through the long list of your
impressive extracurricular activities please thank your parents for putting
this packet together and understand that it would have been far more beneficial
for our staff to speak to you personally by way of an old school phone call. As
my staff sent correspondence to your personal email, we have received only a
return from your parents apologizing and explaining that you are simply
"too busy to answer".
As a word of advice, while many college coaches support
parental enthusiasm, initiative taken by the athlete is crucial if you are
serious about connecting with a quality program. Our staff explained to your
parents that we would prefer to connect with you directly, but they continue to
respond on your behalf. This will be a red flag for any coach, so please be
aware of this feedback being a possibility from any of your other options.
When you visited the campus with your parents, the first
thing I noticed is that they did most of the talking for you. However, when you
did speak, you were openly correcting and verbally scolding them when you
deemed their information sharing inaccurate. As a coach, an athlete who
displays disrespect, especially to their parents, is a red flag in the
recruiting game of analysis and observation.
As we toured the campus I took copious mental notes
including a short ponder on how you were too busy for a returned phone call or
email to our staff yet, your email-ready smartphone was all but attached to
your hand the entire unofficial visit.
Upon your departure, our staff reviewed your stats, strength
numbers and transcripts. All are impressive, but of course we had to see you
compete. Unfortunately, the highlight film you left us with that was edited to
perfection to omit mistakes, was unhelpful.
Despite my reservations, I made the trip to watch your game
live so I could determine if your resume matched your talent. After observing
only a few minutes of the team warm-up, I noted that you were clearly the most
gifted on your squad. However, your talent was unfortunately overshadowed by
the lack of energy and effort you displayed.
 |
| UCLA Basketball Coach, John Wooden |
At halftime, the team huddled up and as always when
observing recruits, I honed in carefully on your demeanor and body language. I
watched you walk in the opposite direction of your teammates and take a seat on
the bench away from the group. You did not return to the team circle until
prompted by your assistant coach. As the head coach spoke, I observed you break
off into a private conversation with another teammate, rather than offering the
coach your attention.
In the second half, when you scored I noticed you waited for
the other players to huddle around you and celebrate. In contrast, when a teammate
scored, you retreated to your position without acknowledging or congratulating
them.
You added much depth in the scoring category with some
impressive runs but when you made mistakes you became vocal and eager to point
out where your teammates needed to improve. You had moments of greatness but
they were followed by sporadic lulls of half-hearted effort.
As you are the team captain, I found it disappointing that
you did not contribute to the post game team discussion. I watched as your
mother brought over snacks and saw that you made no effort to assist her in
bringing those large containers of cupcakes from the bleachers out to your 40
other teammates. Last, as the rest of the team broke the field down and put
equipment away, you found a quiet spot on the empty bench to text on your
phone.
Perhaps as a high school-age athlete, these are behaviors
you are simply unaware of. In a world where you are being taught the X's and
O's of mastering a sport, so much practice and dialogue in character building
is diminishing. I realize that you have been told repeatedly by many of your
previous coaches that you are amazing in your sport. However, players like you,
with similar demeanor are a dime a dozen.
Since you have been a star in your sport for quite a while
with coaches and parents who have clearly allowed these details to slip through
the cracks also, you are not entirely to blame. However, please bear in mind,
none of this makes you a bad person only potentially, a bad teammate. The
attributes I am judging you on happen to be far more important than any of your
trophies, all-star selections or travel team accolades.
There is no doubt you are talented. However, from my
experience, here are the 10 things I know about athletes like you.
1. Your incredible talent is the same talent that in your
sophomore year of college will suddenly suffer an ego blow when a new freshman
arrives with equal or greater talent. Battling your feeling of ownership over
your position and feeling threatened is inevitable.
2. Rather than working hard to better your game, you are
more likely to be the athlete that is constantly comparing your success to
others rather than focusing on growth for yourself. This will become a tedious
and exhausting process for your coaches and team to constantly have to reassure
you of your self worth and value.
3. As those around you put in the work, rather than be
grateful to be surrounded by a committed group of individuals who share common
goals, you are more likely to resent them and seek out allies to split the team
support in half and create locker room chatter.
4. In the event you see time on the bench you may not be
emotionally prepared, willing to engage or support the teammate who is starting
over you. Also, it is likely you will find it challenging to support the
success your team obtains when they win without you on the field.
5. When you become unhappy with your own performance you are
more likely to blame your coach, teammates or anyone other than yourself.
6. Since your previous coaches and adult guidance have
fallen short in emphasizing the importance of accountability, you will likely
be that much more of a challenge for our staff and program to work with.
7. Aside from your time in college, the end goal of being a
student-athlete is to get a degree while playing a sport you love. If your goal
as an athlete-student is to get a starting position while earning a degree you
tolerate, your goals will be out of alignment with the program from the start.
8. Athletes who truly work for their program become stronger
people who work well with others and are able to admit their weaknesses in
order to improve. If I am forced to spend your first two years of college
trying to catch you up on late lessons of being accountable and respectful, it
is probable you will spend your second two years resenting me which ultimately
leads to an ambush of bad senior exit interview feedback.
9. Athletes are treasured in the workforce and therefore,
you are likely to land a job after you graduate. However, if you fail to get
along with those in our program you are prone to carrying this over into your
professional life. If you are unhappy with your boss or coworker you will be
more likely to find yourself unequipped to work through your problem without
soliciting complaining or quitting.
10. By choosing not to recruit you, I am saving my team
culture. On the bright side, perhaps if you are rejected this will be your
first opportunity to face adversity and grow from it.
I recognize that it is possible you could change with
guidance by coming to our program. However, the investment on my end presents
high risk to the health of team morale, my livelihood and sanity. In my younger
coaching years I believed far too often that many like you were capable of
transformation. Over time, without consistent support from the powers that be,
I have lost my fair share of those battles and have watched colleagues lose
their jobs when athletes like you are unsatisfied. I am a great coach who takes
so much of my success and failure home with me at night and am actively making
the choice to choose ethics and attitude over talent.
Today I crossed you off my list as a potential recruit
despite your obvious talent. Over the thousands of hours I have spent away from
my family recruiting, answering emails, calls, official visits, watching game
film and logging contacts and evaluations, I have learned from my mistakes. As
a result, although the athlete playing right next to you has half the stats and
three quarters of your speed, they are supportive, determined and selfless.
This kind of athlete, will be our next signee.
Please take these words and advice into consideration and I
wish you all the best.
Coach
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